Gulf of Mexico Craziness: BP's Oil Spill

Crude oil has been spewing into the Gulf of Mexico for 21 days at a rate of 5,000 - 25,000 barrels a day (depending on who you ask). As of May 3rd, the oil spill covered 2,500 square miles. For you DC locals, here's an overlay of the oil spill with the metro area.

BP has tried to stop the leak, but it seems like every effort takes weeks to execute and is hopelessly futile. Nevermind the fact that the emergency shutoff valves and blowoff preventers did not function correctly to seal the pipeline. This tragedy is going from bad to worse. What if BP can't get the oil capped? What if the leak keeps on going until the Gulf is just a big pool of crude oil?

No worries. BP has a solution - plug the leak with GARBAGE. Trash. Refuse. Waste. Because nothing beats pollution like more pollution. Great idea, guys. Glad to see the gas fumes have finally gotten to you. Even if that does work, it won't be permanent and as the oil pushes through again, it'll scatter all that trash back into the water.

The damage done is catastrophic and will be felt for a long time. In 9 days, oil will have been leaking into the Gulf for an entire month. Crazy.

NYC Craziness: "We Dodged a Bullet"

At this point, it's safe to say you have heard about the failed bomb attack in Times Square. I heard about it Sunday morning and one statement that kept being repeated by authorities was "we dodged a bullet". Indeed. The intent behind this incident is apparent. The perpetrator concealed the vehicle's VIN and attached a different set of license plates lifted from another car. The materials used in making the bomb, albeit crude, are very lethal.

For the record, I am not an expert in counter-terrorism or criminal psychology. The only thing I really have is my educational background in national security issues and a lot of reading. Books. Blogs. Open-source websites. The issues, while on the surface seem clear cut, are amazingly complex. I agree with what the FBI has stated - "homegrown" terrorists and sympathizers will become as great a concern as al-Qaida.

But the phrase "we dodged a bullet" implies that the target of that bullet knowingly did something to avoid being hit. Or that the shooter simply missed. Either way, from what I've read so far, nobody saw this coming. So you can't really dodge something if you can't see it coming. Ultimately, this was an operational error on whoever made the bomb. I don't believe this bomb attack was intended to be a warning.

In plain terms, we got lucky. Granted, our intelligence and law enforcement agencies stop the majority of threats against the US. The unfortunate thing is that terrorists only have to be successful once. And with the internet in play, anyone can search for bomb-making instructions. The tools for terrorism are only a mouse click away. During my junior year of college, I took a course on terrorism. The final project was to plan a fake attack using everything we had learned that semester. Every logistical detail had to be planned out. The main lesson I learned from that assignment was: you can buy anything off of eBay; Google Maps and other satellite imagery websites eliminate many transportation issues, and the myriad of newspaper stories like this one or this one do the surveillance work for you.

I find that homegrown terrorists will be the biggest threat in the coming years. People have plenty to be pissed off about. The economy stinks. Unemployment is still rampant. Millions of people have lost their homes to foreclosure. Look what happened in Austin. You can't stop it 100% of the time. The debate between civil liberties and the government's need to increase national security will grow more intensely over the next several years. Unless, of course, Americans are willing to accept a certain level of successful terrorist attacks on our soil. The other side of the coin doesn't guarantee safety either. Look at Israel - a certain police state that still has had more terrorist attacks on its soil than the US. Living in a free and open society will sometimes have repercussions. And while extremist Muslim organizations have made promises of nuclear attacks against the US, the homegrown threat looms larger and more real.

2009 is Almost Over and DC is Going to Hell

2009 almost squeaked by without a last-minute clusterfvck. Has anyone else noticed the surge in general mayhem that is usually reserved only for Black Friday shoppers bum-rushing the Wal-Mart at midnight?

Here are some things that have put DC in the spotlight recently: Salahi-mania, Tai Shan the panda peacing the F out of the National Zoo, Metro blazing a trail straight to We Can't Do Anything Rightsville, or Senator Corker's kid getting carjacked near the Verizon Center. Even Baltimore's mayor is getting in on this craptacular steam pile by taking and spending gift cards that were supposed to be for needy families.

What is going on, DC? It's like New Orleans all over again right before Katrina strolled in and people started looting like it was a five o'clock free crack giveaway. All I know is that there are 27 days left till 2010 and DC can't handle anymore of this asswizardry.

Thank God for Tiger Woods. Hopefully we can ride out his "transgressions" till the new year.

WWHMD?

What would Hank Moody do?

No, really.

I find myself asking that a lot these days. Nevermind the complete and electronic climax that is Californication. I always wonder if someone can be a royal screw-up yet still be mildly successful. Life imitates art. Or is it the other way around? I've been silent for quite some time on this thing and while you may have a lot of questions about that, you'll find that I do too.

I've heard some people can be attributed as having a "Type A" personality. Meaning they take things seriously, are focused on their organizational skills, and are frequently OCD. I think this is the polite way of saying that a person is anal. And not in the homo way. I'm talking about the annoying, awful, angry, antsy, awkward, and arrogant way. We all know who these people are. I have a hard time differentiating between these people and the rest of the populace that just annoys the crap out of me.

I automatically associate any short, fat, and bald man to be a chode. Not because he is one. He could be a jolly old soul for all I know. But to me, they just look like a walking phallus.

I always wonder what people did before the internet to waste time at work. I am currently pondering this now as I multitask between writing this juicy piece, doing some light Facebook stalking, reading up on DCist, and browsing the BBC website. Were we more productive in the pre-internet era?

Nothing slows down the passing of time quite like a healthy session of self-loathing.

I think one of the most annoying things someone can do is stand too close to a microphone. Especially when their script has a lot of words that contain the consonant "P". You know what I'm talking about. That "puh" sound that booms across the mic. It's horrible. And yes, I will walk out on your crappy speech if you do it again.

I honestly believe that the majority of the world's narcissism is rooted in parents repeatedly telling their kids how special and unique they are. Genetically, this is true. That's where it ends. That line of thinking eventually makes people believe they are better than others or entitled to more. It just goes downhill from there.

I was really hoping some kind of freak accident would occur during my LASIK surgery that would let me shoot lasers from my eyes. Like that X-Men guy. That would be awesome. Although having to wear sunglasses all the time would make me look like a douche. Right, Bono?

The End Is Near

As of today, I am officially on Twitter: http://twitter.com/adamcrussell