Countdown to Armageddon: 19 days

In some circles, March 24, 2009 is going to be the worst day ever for the DC area. You might be asking yourself why. Some people will also google the date, hoping to get some clarity into this. Let me spell it out with just four terrifying words. Britney. Spears. Verizon. Center.

She's coming to town and I couldn't be less thrilled. Most of you know my long-standing loathing for Spears. I practically reveled at her 2007-08 self-destructive solo tour. The main take-away from my previous rants was that people shouldn't be shocked/offended/OMG-ing at all the crazy stuff she's done. In case you forgot, here's the short list:

• barefoot public bathroom romps
• putting her kid in her lap while she drives
• not wearing underroos
• shaving her head
• marrying white trash
• divorcing white trash
• financing white trash's "hip-hop" record
• losing custody of her kids to white trash
• hitting parked cars

She's from Lousiana, ok? You can't expect some country bumpkin to act like the next Audrey Hepburn. It's just not possible. Especially in Hollywood, where people want you to succeed just as much as they want you to fail. Money is made off of the good and bad things that people do. I blame the paparazzi, but if no one was obsessed with the celebrity lifestyle, then maybe people like Britney wouldn't have it so bad. But it doesn't look like it's getting any better. Websites like TMZ and perezhilton are just the beginning. Pretty soon, there'll be 24/7 celebrity news-channels. Oh wait, I forgot about E!

But sometimes I wonder if all this discontentment for Britney is really aimed at the obsession society has with celebrities. Either way, both are superficial and don't contribute a thing to the progress of humanity. And DC welcomes that whirlwind of craziness with open arms. Not me, folks.

But at least Marion Barry is out of the hospital with a fresh kidney.