America: Losing Its Cool

You remember when you were a kid, and you couldn't wait for recess to peg that squirrelly looking kid with glasses at dodgeball? Or play that awesome game of exclusion: tag? Yeah, you can't do that anymore. Some schools are even going so far as to ban all physical contact between students. That's right, Billy, no more high-fives. You can't even pound it out. So how does one relay how to friends just how cool you are? Texting. And lots of it.

How else can you explain why two people would rather have a 3-hour textathon rather than talk on the phone for 15 minutes? Everyone was up in arms about people using their cell phones while driving. Now states are passing legislation to ban texting while driving. Sounds absurd, I know, but I'll bet you'll do it at some point in your life. Idiot. If someone gets in an accident and wrecks their car while texting, they should call it wrexting.

You'd think that people would rather just talk to someone straight up. Texting is a very time-consuming process and we're all about doing things fast. You write out your message and then wait for your friend to reply. Even when they reply shortly thereafter, you still have to write out your next message. Total waste of time. Unless you're doing something else at the same time. So this leaves me to wonder what other multi-tasking activities there are while texting...

Chexting = eating delicious Chex mix while texting; or writing a personal check while texting
Dexting = installing a new deck for your house while texting
Mexting = texting someone while touring Mexico
Vexting = having a confusing face-to-face conversation while texting someone else
FedExting = waiting in line at FedEx to mail/collect a package while texting
Rexting = playing fetch with your dog, Rex, while texting
Wexting = ordering a savory beef on weck (sandwich) while texting (term used only in the NE)
Shrexting = watching any of the Shrek movies while texting