Who Wants to Go to Cancun?

Seriously. Swine flu be damned. All major airlines are offering some sweet discounts to Cancun and Mexico City. I saw round-trip airfare to/from Washington, DC for only $300! Plus, I'm sure you could grab a sweet bargain at an all-inclusive.

But people have died from this pandemic! Aren't you concerned?

No. For a couple reasons. Most of the people that have died from this swine flu lived in crappy shanty towns and were too poor to get medical help. I have primo health insurance. Also, my immune system is boss. I rarely get sick. I attribute this uncanny phenomenon to my regular injections of 100% Florida orange juice straight into my veins. If the pulp gets in the way, just push down on that syringe a little harder. That's extra Vitamin-C right there.

Honestly, folks. Thousands of people died from diseases like tuberculosis and regular non-swine flu last year. Bet you didn't hear about any of that from the liberal media! And what makes swine flu so special? Nothing. It's just the latest panic-button item of 2009. Why else would people wear thin pieces of fabric over their noses and mouths that make them look like Michael Jackson? I mean, who would want that kind of association?

Probably the kind of people desperate for any kind of publicity. Oh wait...

What happened to SARS? Avian flu? The MRSA strain of staph? Remember all those things that were supposed to end human existence? And you're still here, right?

$300 for a a trip to Cancun sipping Coronas on the beach? Sign me up.